Weigh in Wednesday aka Crapitty Crap Day

Yes, it's Crapitty Crap Day..  those are the words that came out of my mouth when I weighed in this morning at:

256.2

Yep, one pound gain.  crapitty crap!!!!  I'm not surprised I'm up, I'm actually surprised it's not more since I've been eating candy like it's the end of the world. I sucketh,  BLECH.

This has to be my wake up call.  The band is not a magic bullet, it only works as much as I let it.  Doesn't stop me from eating candy, cookies (even had a piece of pie yesterday).  I have to do that, or NOT do that as the case may be.  Yes, I'm eating better and exercising, but that doesn't give me licence to eat whatever I want.

Will I do better, try harder.  YEP!  Will I be perfect, NOPE.  Guess what I'm not perfect, no one is.  We make mistakes, and have to pull ourselves up and try again.  It's not the stumbles that are the problem, it's getting back on track and not letting this stop us from where we are going.

Weekend Recap

I had a good weekend.  Met up with a friend I hadn't seen in a while.  She had gastric bypass years ago (like 15 I think, well before I met her.  Did a little shopping and then went out to lunch.  Ordered a backed potato with veggie chili and cheese.  Ate only 1/4 of it, but didn't feel self conscious, took the rest home for later.

I've noticed it doesn't take much for me to get full, and I'm staying full for a while.  Not sure if this is Green Zone or not.  Sometimes I still get ravenous quickly.  I think I'm scheduled for a fill next week, not sure if I'm going to get it or not.

Got some great things at Goodwill this weekend.  One pair of casual pants (brand new Levi casuals), one twinset cardigan sweater, one turtleneck sweater and one shirt/jacket.  The turtleneck is a little small, but as my hubby says, I'll shrink into it soon :).  Those cost me about $15.00.  Whoo hoo.  I did go to four different stores to get those, two of them I didn't find anything.  It was worth it though.

I also bought a couple of scarves as someone suggested (I can't remember who, sorry).  I wore one today with my black cardigan.  I need a remedial scarf tying lesson please.  I'm so clueless,  I keep playing with trying to get it to look good, and stay in place.  Hopefully I'll get better at it.

I'm wearing a size 18 pants I bought at Goodwill a couple of months ago.  Happy Dance time.  I think they are still a little too tight, but the rest of my pants were downstairs in the laundry, so it was either these or nothing.  When I bought them there was no way I was even getting these over my hips, let along zipping them.  The change in my body is amazing!

Eating wise I didn't do so well.  I'm such an addict.  If there is something in the house I like, I have to eat it, can't wait.  Ate so many cookies and cashews this weekend, I don't even want to think about it.  It's not like I was hungry, it was just like, the food is there so I've got to have some.  UGH, how do I stop?

Ten Things Thursday

1.  Derby Lite is amazing!  I'm pushing the edges of my comfort zone, and I'm loving it.  I skated backwards last night.  It wasn't pretty, in fact I'm sure I looked ridiculous, but SO WHAT, I was skating backward!

2.  I had two unplanned falls at Derby last night, bummer...but I fell the right way so I didn't get hurt and I was able to get up by myself both times.

3.  I want to update my blog for fall, but the free site I used for this template doesn't exist anymore.  Any good sites for free blog templates?

4.  I ate 6 hershey's minis after lunch.  I wasn't even hungry, so why did I eat them?  Because they were there. ARGH.  Why do I do that to myself?

5.  Cleaned out my closet and I have 7 shirts that fit.  5 black and 2 brown.  I do have a couple of sweaters, maybe three?  I think I need some more clothes, but I haven't had much luck with goodwill the last couple of weeks.  

6.  My dogs are crazy if they don't get a walk everyday.  I missed tues since I wasn't feeling good, and yesterday I was late getting home and then had to dun to Derby, so no walk.  This morning they were literally bouncing off the furniture. (I wish I had gotten video if them, is was actually really funny). So I took them out before work today.  It was still  dark out, blech.  

7.  I wogged this morning.  Not sure what that means?  Head over to Adokbl's amazing blog and find out what I'm talking about. I love that term, so I'm usurping it for my own use.  I was so proud of myself.  I was scared to try, but I'm trying to push the boundaries so I thought what the hell, just give it a shot.  Oh and it helped it was dark out, and nobody was around to see me.

8.  It will probably be a long time before I wog in the light of day.

9.  Holly at 300 Pounds Down is my inspiration.  It never seems to fail that her posts hit so close to home.  I love this post.  

10.  I love reading everyone's blogs. I may not comment, as I'm really bad at that. But I gain so much from ready everyone's stories, truly inspirational.  Thanks everyone for sharing your lives with us out it blogland.

Weigh-in Wednesday and Pics

Weigh in for Let the Weight Fall Off Challenge

255.2, down 2 pounds for the week :)

Here are my most recent pics.

Pre-Surgery

5 Months Post-surger 

Pre-surgery

5 Months Post-surgery

  

Pre-Surgery

5 Month Post-Surgery

Tuesday Troubles

So last night for dinner my husband made spicy chicken breasts, sauteed in a frying pan.  I cut it up really small. used my little fork and chewed like nobodies business.   Let's just say won't be having that again anytime soon.  I think it was just too dry for my band.  I've had it since being banded, but not since this last fill.  Ended up being stuck, then PBing then feeling stuck again then PBing again.  BELCH.

So I'm just doing liquids today.  Don't feel like eating anything else anyway.  That's a very good thing considering this is what my day looked like yesterday:

Breakfast:  3 Dark Chocolate Milano Cookies

               

Lunch:        Leftover chili

                  Reeses Peanut Butter Pumpkin

                 

Snack:        6 Hershey's minis

Dinner:        Chicken breast (only ate about 1/4 c and most of that came back up).

Drinks:         16 oz Diet Peach Tea Snapple

                    20 oz Orange G2

                    12 oz light lemonade

So horrible day protein and liquids.  So much for getting back on track, oh well today is another day.  So far today:

Breakfast:   1/2c oatmeal mixed with 1/c milk to make it more "liquidy:

Lunch:         6oz broth

Drinks:     16oz snapple

                16 oz snapple

                 8oz milk

On a better note, here's the pic from my walk with the puppies last night.

I'm a winner

My friend's daughter is in Girl Scout's and they had their first annual Chili Cook-off on Saturday.  My friend needed contestants and since I'm a sucker nice person I said I would do it.  Mind you I have only made chili a couple of times in my life.

As luck would have it when I was home at my mom's my bother made this great low fat vegetarian chili.I got the recipe from him and made it for the first time saturday.  Amazingly I won first place in the non-traditional category!  My mom's first question when I told her was "Were there other entries in that category?"  Yes, there were 5 other non-traditional chili's (meaning using a protein source other than beef).

Here's my booth

And my trophy 

Had fun, an won a nice cash prize as well.

On the band front I'm not really feeling like a winner these days.  I've lost focus and having trouble getting back on track.  I lost my pedometer and it's gone down hill from there.  Stopped loggin my food and exercise.  Stopped making the best food choices.  BLECH!

But, this is a new day, and time to get back on the bandwagon.  I'm also participating in the "Let The Weight Fall Off" Challenge that Sandra at http://thinkitdoitliveit.blogspot.com/ is running.  Just what I need to get me re-started.  

Weigh in Wednesday

257.2

Down a pound from last week.  I have been very bad about logging my food and exercise the last couple of weeks.  It started with the traveling I was doing and I just never got back into the habit.  I can definitely tell the difference in how I've been doing. I do so much better when I write things down.  In my line of work the rule is "If you didn't document it, it didn't happen".  Unfortunately even though I didn't write it down, the ice cream I had (a couple of times) really did happen.  The scale would have moved much more if I had eaten better.

I'm also fighting a cold, I hate colds.  I never get too sick, but they seem to last forever.  I'm going on a week now, and no sign it's going away soon.  I have been making sure I still get moving, even if I don't feel like it.

So plan for this week...log everything I eat and drink.  Make better food choices and make sure I drink enough fluids.  Some form of exercise every day.

Single Digit Size

Had to go out and by some new clothes this weekend.  No, not pant size, but undie size!  Hey, I'll take single digit size whatever way I can get it.

Oh, Friday a miracle happened... someone I worked with came up to me and said I looked like I had lost a lot of weight, that I was looking great.  Only took 70 pounds for someone to say something. I was so happy that someone noticed.

Had a nice weekend. Hubby was out of town for a concert, so it was just me and the puppies.

Farmer's Market and Vintage Market Saturday morning, then random errands the rest of the day.  That evening I walked in the Leukemia Lymphoma Society Light the Night, in memory of my friend's Mom who died of Multiple Myeloma four years ago.  Our little team raised almost $1000.  It was amazing to see so many people, including survivors, walking together.  I had a NSV as well.  When I checked in they only had XL tshirts.  I wasn't sure if it would fit, but it did!  Happy Dance time.

Woke up to a dreary Sunday morning, but took the puppies for a walk.  I'll post a picture later.  By the time we got back home the sun was out, but I was tired, so I took a little nap.  Got up and decorated the house for fall.  Also was in a mood so did some re-arranging of furniture and cleaned out my hall closet. Got rid of a bunch of jackets and shoes.  Went to Goodwill and donated that stuff and tried to shop, but no luck.

Weigh in Wednesday

Almost forgot to weigh in this morning.  This week is going by sooo quickly.  This weeks weight.....

258.2

Another 2.6 pounds lost forever!  Officially makes me 70.8 ponds down from surgery. I love hitting those milestones.  I'm hoping I can maintain this pace,  I think 2-3 pounds a week is doable for me.  Just need to keep up the movement.  

With my traveling and other stuff going on in the evenings it hasn't been as easy to get in my walks.  I haven't met my goal of doing some form of exercise each day.  I'm ok with that, life isn't always perfect.  Just have to keep on trying.

I see I have some new followers, thanks for joining me on my journey.  I'll take all the supporters I can get.  Please leave me a comment and introduce yourself, and link to your blog if you have one, so I can follow you as well.

Random Thoughts

Flew to my mom's again this weekend for her b-day party.  She was so surprised to see me.  Especially since I talked to her the day before and told her I wasn't coming since I had just been there two weeks ago.  She just stared at me and said "What are you doing here?" probably a dozen times.  I'm so glad I decided to go.

It was great to see all of my family.  Hadn't seen all the Aunts/Uncles together in years.  Had a great time at the party, did well with eating.  I tried everything I wanted to, eating a small amount and was satisfied.  Such a NSV for me. I just kept thinking how much I would have over eaten without the band.

I just wished I lived closer.  Currently about 12 hour drive or a 4-5 hour combination of flights.  But, both my hubby and myself have wonderful jobs that we wouldn't have if we lived closer.  Luckily we are in a position that we can fly home when/if we need to.

Stopped at the mall during the weekend.  Actually bought clothes in a "real" store, not the fat lady stores I've had to shop in.  Granted in was only Old Navy, and the sweater and shirt were both an XXL, but this is the first time I've shopped in a "real" store in YEARS.  Still a ways to go before I'm only in real stores, but a huge step for me.  I still felt like people were looking at me wondering what I was doing there.

Ten Things Thursday

1. I had a great day yesterday.  
2. Started volunteering at an elementary school through the Read Up program.  The goal of the program is to help kids who are having trouble reading, they are usually a grade or two behind in their reading scores.  I'm there for about an hour, split between two kids. They read aloud and we help them with words they don't understand and reading comprehension.   Yesterday was the first day, and of course I was nervous, but I didn't let that stop me.  I'm so glad I'm going to be doing this.
3. I actually made it to the Lap Band support group.  It was nice to check in with them, since I haven't been able to go since June.  Although I'm bummed because they might be cancelling it because so few people come it it.  I wasn't able to stay too long, but I did get to talk to someone who's going to be banded later this month.  I wish I had more time to talk to her.  I did give her my blog, so maybe she'll pop in here.
4. I went to Derby class.  It was awesome!!!! My legs were very shaky to start, but got a lot better as the night went on.  I didn't fall, except when I was supposed to, and I was able get get back up on my skates by myself.  MAJOR accomplishment for me.  First time there was no way I could do this.
5. Still haven't finalized my derby name yet, really need to do that.  I'm down to two and can't choose.  The first is something my mom called me growing up.  A loooong time ago there was a famous actress named Sarah Burnheart.  She was known for her melodramatic style.  I was quite the drama queen growing up, so my called me little Sarah Heartburn ;) My second choice it Polly Eurinsane.  A friend thought that up for me.  I like it, but I'm torn.  I'm leaning toward Sarah Heartburn, but most people wouldn't get it.
6. I'me so sore from class last night, but in such a good way!  
7. I'm headed to exercise class tonight, so I know I'll be even more sore tomorrow.
8. I drank a Diet Pepsi for the first time in 5 months.  I was so tired, and had all day meeting so I needed a quick caffeine fix.  Funny thing is that it didn't even taste good to me.  I drank it really slow and actually didn't even finish it.  Don't think I'll have another anytime soon.
9. I'm headed back to my mom's tomorrow.  Yes I was just there two weeks ago, but my Aunts/Uncles are throwing her a birthday party this weekend (even though her bday isn't until December).  No one wanted to travel to upstate NY in Dec, go figure.
10. I told my mom I wasn't going to come since I just flew home.  I can't wait to see her reaction.  It will be great to see my family.  Aunts and Uncles spread out over the country, so I haven't seen all of them together in years.

Weigh In Wednesday

I had a a reinforcement of something I keep telling myself, and everyone should take to heart.  Only use one scale for your official weight, since scales can very a great deal.  Use one scale every time and you will have consistent  measurements.

Yesterday at the Dr office I was 265, and I was a little bummed that my weight was up since last week. This morning on my scale that I've been using for official weigh ins I was...

260.8

Howza that's a big difference!!  I'm glad I didn't let the 265 bother me.  So my official loss to date is 68.2 pounds.   Yippee Skippee.

I'm headed to my Derby Lite class tonight.  Hopefully this goes better than the first class.  My butt is still sore from the fall I took.

Fill #3

Went back to see the dietitian and the PA at the surgery center today.  They were both impressed with my weightloss. Happy Dance.  Dietitian just said keep up with what I'm doing, although I have to get better about taking my vitamins.  I was bummed that the scale there said 265.  I'll do my official weigh in tomorrow, but I'm not expecting much of a loss if any based on the number i saw today.

PA put in 0.5cc today with no problem.  Last fill I originally had 4cc in but had an unfill of 0.5cc the next week.  So with the 0.5cc today I am back to 4cc.  Hopefully I won't get sick again this time, going to take it easier with progressing onto real food. 

4cc isn't a lot, and I know some people have that much in with their first fill.  My dr is conservative, and I'm all for that.  I hate getting sick (kind of like Drazil and the P word).  Just talking about it is too much for me.

ok onto better topics...my dogs are keeping me motivated.  If I don't take them for walks they go crazy, and the one digs holes under the fence and takes herself for a walk.  So even though it's been cold and rainy the last couple of days as soon as I get home we take off around the neighborhood.  I'm sure I'm getting a reputation as the crazy lady who walks her dogs in the rain.

Clothing Sizing Sucks

No wonder women have messed up body images...  Today I'm wearing a top that's a 3x, and pants that are 22.  Both fit appropriately, not too loose, not too tight.  Yesterday I was wearing a 1x top and 18 pants, again not too loose, not too tight.  WTF?  why are the sizes so different?  I've accepted that sizes don't really mean anything, but if I hadn't I would be devastated that I was in a 3x after I had lost so much weight.  Luckily for me the top is one I bought long time ago (8 years ago, at at a store closing sale for like $5...I never wore it because it was too small).  It still had the tags on, I figure I might as well get the use out of it now before it gets too big.

So what size am I?  No frackin clue.  Somewhere between a 1x and 3x?  How do you determine what size you wear?

On the other had I need some new exercise clothes for me Derby Lite class.  Went to Target and got a pair of workout capris, size xxl. From the "normal size" section, not the "plus".  Happy Dance, Happy Dance.  They are a little too tight for me to wear out in public (some people would, but not me), but for this class they're perfect. Just have to wear a longer top to cover the pooch.

Also got a couple new long sleeved tops and a pair of pants from Goodwill.  The pants are an 18 from Lane Bryant, but they look soooooo small.  Haven't tried them on yet, will save them for a few more pounds down.  The other 18's I bought are just starting to fit right.

Now that the weather has changed I've got to clean out the summer clothes from my closet.  Not sure If I'm going to donate those right now, or wait until next summer.  Most of the stuff is getting too big now, I'm just afraid if I give everything away I'll regain the weight and have nothing to wear next year.  I have to keep telling myself that won't have, I won't let that happen.  I may just move them into the spare room to get them out of my main closet, that way I can really see what I have for fall winter.