@#$*@#$!@#$!

239.2

Friday Funny

So I didn't make it to body pump wed...well I made it there, but when I went to change I realized I didn't have any pants :( what I thought were black workout capris was actually a t shirt.

yesterday I started the Desk to 5K program at work. It was a mile on the track (5 laps). I did three laps walking an two "running". I downloaded a new app to help with the runs, it's called Zombie Run. It's fun, it tells a story of being in a compound that is surrounded by zombies. You ahve to go out and gather supplies. if the zombies get close you have to run to get away or lose what you have collected. you use your supplies to build up your compound...so it's a game as well. hopefully it will encourage me to keep running.

after the mile I was going to go to the Hip Hop zumba class, but the instructor never showed up. Instead of leaving I hopped on the elliptical machine and did 20 minutes.

today is going to be light on exercise. we are going to a minor league baseball game after work, so I won't get in a workout today. there's always tomorrow right?

UGH

Weighed in this morning at 237.2

Wrong direction. Down, but not out...going to Body Pump today, haven't been since I burned my hand. Hand is much better, going to be a heck of a scar for a while, but blister never popped and things are healing nicely.

I did make an appointment for another fill, but couldn't get in until sept 11. That gives me a couple of weeks to get back into good eating habits (fingers crossed) before I see them.

New Goal!

I've been so focused on the 100 pound mark and that freaks me out for some reason. So instead of 100 pounds right now I want to lose 20 pounds. that's what I will focus on, just 20 pounds. Much more doable than 100 (even though I've already gotten to the 90+ mark). Hopefully this will help me get over this slump I've been in. I'm starting from last weeks weight of 235.4, but i'll be counting up not down, if that makes sense. Hopefully tomorrow the pounds lost number will go up, fingers crossed.

Eating better will also help that.... still need to work on that. Today I've had two candy bars. One at breakfast on one in the afternoon. UGH!!! Maybe tomorrow will be better.

weigh in Wednesday

Todays weight: 235.4

Moving in the right direction. Wish it was more, but still eat like crap in the last week. Much better than the week before, but still too much crap!

Haven't been able to go to Body Pump this week since I burned my hand. There's a reason they put that "Surface Hot" light on the stove. It means Hey STUPID DON'T PUT YOUR HAND ON THE BURNER!!!!!!!!! Wasn't thinking and went to wipe up a spill after my husband cooked breakfast Sunday morning. It's not too bad but I have a decent sized blister on the base of my thumb. Trying to keep the blister from popping so no Body Pump this week. Migraine yesterday so no Zumba either. Plan is to go to zumba on thursday, not sure what to do fri...

I signed up for my first 5K of the fall. I also signed up for a 5K training that the gym at my work is doing. I think that starts next week. I need to get back to actually running. Maybe i'll start the Ease into 5K on Friday.

Self Sabotage

This weeks weigh in:  236

Yep, you read that right up 3 pounds from last week... must be water wight or increased muscle right?


NOPE, it's real.  Want to know how I know?  Because this is just some of the crap I've been eating in the last week:

Ice cream, at least 4 out of the past 7 days (and one occasion twice in one day)
Peanut M&Ms (at least two different times)
Kit Kat Minis (at least two times)
Pastry...three of them in one sitting!!!
movie popcorn...so much more than I needed
cereal, lot's of cereal
coffee cake (4 days out of 7)


I know better, so why do I eat it... cause I want to! It tastes good!


It's like when I got close to 100 pounds I gave myself permission to eat anything and everything, and once I hit 100 pounds lost (barely) all bets were lost.

I've done this before, lost weight gotten to a goal and then started back down the path of gaining.  I don't want that to happen again, but how do I stop it?

I know rationally just don't eat the crap, or eat in moderation, but I seem to have lost that ability.  I'm hungry!!!

Probably time for a fill, but sometimes it's not just physical hunger, but just cause something appeals to me. How do you break that cycle once you've started?  I keep telling myself I will be better, but just doesn't work.

I think part of my problem is exercise.  I have been working out  like a fiend:

monday: body pump
Tues: Zumba
Wed: derby lite
Thurs: zumba
Friday: body pump
Sat/sunday: long walks with the dogs, some skating

exercise is good, but in my case I use it as an excuse to eat more... In my mind I deserve that candy or ice cream because I worked out hard.

so my plan is this:

Call for a fill, not a big one, but just a little to top me off.  maybe help with the physical hunger I'm feeling between meals.

Cut back on exercise...I know to some people this may be counter intuitive, but hopefully I can break the cycle of working out to eat.  my new plan is this:

   Mon or Fri: Body Pump     
   Tues or Thurs: Zumba
   Sat or Sun: Zumba
   Random days: skating (Derby Lite is on break for a month, doesn't start back up until September :(.       So I'll just be going to the rink for free skate hopefully once a week).

How to stop the mindless eating...that's what I need help with.

Trying to get back on the bandwagon

As you can see from me ticker my weight has gone up a little...only 5 pounds since my lowest, but it's taken back down below the 100 pounds lost mark.

Not sure what's going on, it's been more that a year and my loss has been amazing, it's just....blah...


I'm eating things I never did before...pastry, coffee cake, more ice cream than I care to admit...

Self sabotage much?  It's like when I hit 100 pounds all the rules went out the window. Guess what when you eat crap you gain weight, you'd think I'd have that figured out by now huh?

The one thing I've had in my favor is my exercise.  I've been a workout fiend.  I think I was giving myself permission to eat more because of the workouts.

So onward and downward I go.  I need to get back to blogging and logging my food in MFP.  Accountability, that's what I need.  I need to go back the basics, I can do this just have to get back on the bandwagon.

How's everyone else doing?  What have you done to encourage yourself?

Anyone know if any newbie bandster bloggers?  I need to get some revived band love and I think newbies are great for that.  So if you know of any new bandsters or soon to be bandsters let me know so I can follow along.

Weigh in Wednesday and a shameless plug

It's been a while since I've posted... life its getting busy and I've been kind of funky.  Nothing too bad, but just a little funky.

anywhoo... I had my one year follow up visit on May 29th.  My surgeon was thrilled with my progress, says I'm doing awesome!  That was good for me to hear.  Sometimes I focus on how far I still have to go, and not how far I have already come.  So my weight on 5/29 was...230.4, down 98.6 pounds in one year.  So close to 100, but not quite, still incredibly happy.


I have been slacking with my exercise in the past couple of weeks, and food choices could have been better.  As I said before life has been crazy busy.  So I thought I should hop on the scale this morning to check and see where I am.  To my surprise I saw...

228.4

HOLY MOLY!  That's 100.6 pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now onto my shameless plug.  I recently became a rep for Miche.  I've loved their purses for years, so I signed up to sell them.  They are great because you can change the look of your purse without having to move all your crap from one purse to another.  You start with a base bag, and just change the shells to create different looks.

If you wouldn't mind liking my site on Facebook I would greatly appreciate it:

https://www.facebook.com/ColleenCurrieIndependentMicheRepresentative

I have my launch party open right now and I can ship anywhere in the country.  Let me know if you have any questions.

One Year Ago...

I changed my life forever and had my lap band placed.  It hasn't always been easy, but it always has been worth it.  Here are the pics to prove it!

May 20, 2012

May 20, 2013

Before pic was 4x top and 3x bottom, 12 month pic is xl top and bottom.

I don't have an official weigh loss, that won't happen until next week when I go to the dr for my one year follow up.  I know I'm somewhere between 95-100 pounds lost.  One year ago I wouldn't have thought that was really possible.  I had no real idea of how this journey was going to go, I just knew I was going to change.

I'm still working on getting to my goal of under 200 pounds.  That is about 30 pounds still to go.  I don't know if that's where I'll want to maintain, or if I will want to lose more.  Just taking things one day at a time.

I'm not perfect with my food choices, but that in itself is my choice.  I know I will do better in the long run if I don't forbid myself anything.  I'm learning moderation.  I can eat what I want, just not huge portions.  That will be the key for success:  moderation, not deprivation.

I cheated

We had a friend stay with us this weekend... so I had to clean the guest bathroom. I couldn't resist the call of the scale (I keep it in the guest bath so I don't have to see it everyday) .

Anywho... I saw 229.8. I'm not going to count this as an official weighing. But...OMG that would be 99.2 pounds. I've got almost 2 weeks until my official one year weighin. Hoping to hit the century mark officially then.



Oh and to be honest I'm not perfect with my eating... I had an ice cream sundae for dinner tonight.

Non weigh in wednesday

Continuing the avoidance of the scale for another week.  It's gotten easier, I don't hear it call to me as much anymore.  Next weigh in will be in two weeks when I go in for my one year follow-up visit.  Crazy isn't it that it's been a year already.  Time really does seem to fly by the older I get.

This past weeks activity:

Wed:          Derby Lite
Thurs:        nothing, nadda, zippo
Fri:             Lifted weights for 20 minutes
Sat:            Zumba toning and walked the dogs 45 min
Sun:           walked the dogs 60 min
Mon:          20 min run on the treadmill (alternating 5mph and 4 mph)
Tues:         Zumba

I had to skip personal training this week and I'm glad. I've been battling a cold for the past week and I haven't had much energy.  Feeling much better, but still have the sniffles that won't go away.

Wearing a pair of pants that last week I could wear, but was afraid to bend over too quickly in fear they would split up the back.  This week they fit, maybe even a little loose.

Funny Friday

I missed personal training session this morning, and can't get to the other exercise class I wanted to take today, so this (hopefully) will be me this evening.  Looks like rain, so I may have to run on the treadmill instead of outdoors with the dogs.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Non-Weigh In Wednsday

First, thanks for all the comments.  It's nice to know that people understand.  It's hard to explain that feeling to someone who has never struggled with their weight and self image.  I tell myself I keep putting myself out there in the hopes that one day I won't have to worry about what other people are thinking about me, because I'm comfortable in my own skin.

It was very hard to resist the scale this morning, but I did.  Not scheduled to weigh in again until 4/29. So instead I'm going to re-cap my exercise for the past week.

Wed: Derby Lite
Thurs:  Nothing...went to a Gordon Lightfoot concert
Friday:  Person training...30 minutes of hell
Saturday:  60 minute walk with the dogs
Sunday: 45 minute walk with the dogs
Monday: 30 min "run" plus 10 minute walk
Tues: 60 min Zumba

So pretty good exercise week.  Food wise it was ok.  Struggling with wanting to eat things I shouldn't.  Sometime I give in, some times I don't.  Need to get to the point when the not giving in times out way the give in times.

Oh, and I'm in all day meeting today with a panera danish sitting right in front of me and a coffee cake at the next table.  So far I've resisted those, but I did give in to a warm chocolate chip cookie.  Need to be satisfied with the cookie, and not have more crap!

An accomplishment and a meltdown

So over on the left side of my blog is my Ease into 5K updates.  As you can see, as of yesterday I have complete all 8 weeks!!!!  You can also see that it's taken me a lot longer than 8 weeks.  That's OK.  I went at my own pace, I repeated (lots of) weeks.  I took time off, but in the end I did it.  I "ran" 30 minutes without stopping.  Of course I forgot to wear my Fitbit, so I have no idea how far I actually went.  Oh well, I'll have to do it again and make sure I wear it.

When I started Ease into 5K I thought there was no way I was ever going to be able to run for 30 minutes.  I had an incredible hard time running 30 seconds!  So for any of you out there who says they could never run 30 minutes, just try.  You don't have to succeed on the first try, but as long as you try you have succeeded.

I got this from Sarah over at Thinfluenced...go check her out, she's cool!

Ok, so that was the accomplishment, now onto the melt-down. I have been wanted to write about this, but struggle to be able to.  I seem to only write about the good things, my victories, but it's not all rainbows and kittens.  I try not to focus on the negative, but it's there.  I don't want to mislead anyone, this has been hard, so very hard, and I still struggle every day.  It's not easy for me to admit that, but let's be honest.  Sometimes things suck...suck big donkey balls!

I have been trying lots of different types of exercise, including the Ease into 5K mentioned above.  The thing is when I "run"  I go very slow, I mean people walk faster than I "run" slow".  That's usually ok, because I'm by myself.  I signed up for a program at work called Spring into 3.1, to help you prepare for a 5K.  Each week we meet on the track and workout together.  

I'm always the slowest one there, ALWAYS, and I mean by a lot.  I try not to let it bother me, but it does.  And these last two times I've gone I almost left in the middle of the workout because I was so embarrassed by how slow I was compared to everyone else. You see we are on a track that is in the middle of a bunch of buildings, so potentially lots of people could be looking out at us (and me).  

I know what you are thinking, that no one was paying any attention to what was happening on the track.  But in my mind, I'm positive that people are looking at me (and laughing at the fat girl trying to keep up with everyone else).

So two weeks in a row I had to stop running, gasping for breath, wanting nothing more than to walk away.  I think to myself, what the hell am I doing?  Why do I set myself up for this failure/humiliation?  Why am I out here? 

Putting myself out there is so hard for me. I struggle every say with feeling like I don't fit in because of my weight. I'm trying to work past those feelings, but it's hard.

Good news is I didn't walk away.  I took my time, but I kept going.  I may be slow, but I'm resilient.

Weigh in Wednesday

I'm still on a break from weekly weigh-ins, but I am going to weigh at the beginning and end of the month.  So today's weight:

234.8

That's down 0.2 pounds from last week when I when I weighed in at the dr.  I won't weigh again until I have my next dr appt on the 29th.  That will be for my 1 year visit, hard to believe that it's been almost a year since surgery.

I had set a goal to be 100 pounds down by one year.  Probably not going to happen, it would be 5.8 pounds in 4 weeks.  It's doable, but with the rate i've been losing at not likely.

That's ok, 100 pounds or the 94.2 pounds I'm at now is still almost unbelievable!  

I had some great luck at Goodwill last weekend.  Two pairs of work pants, one pair of casual capris and three tops to wear to work.  all for the grand total of $24.00.  Everything looks new, and all of it was from the "regular" section and not the plus.  I wore one outfit yesterday top was an xl and pants were a 16.

The pants I'm wearing today will be retired.  They are so big they are falling off, and the hems are dragging on the ground.  Glad I got some new pants!

Ten Things Thursday

1.  It's been forever since I did a TTT.  I've been slacking on blogging and need to get better.  I've been reading other blogs, just haven't felt like posting much.

2.  Went in for a fill yesterday. I got just a tiny amount put in.  I think I'm about 6cc, but not 100% sure.  It's funny, in the beginning I was obsessed with how much volume was in my band, now not so much.

3.  I've been on liquids since the fill and can already feel a difference.  I can't drink as fast or as much at one time.  I'm also having some shoulder pain when I drink to quick.  I'm hoping that goes away soon.

4.  I had broken up with my scale this month, but since I was going to be weighed at the dr I weighed at home in the morning.   235.0.  Yippee, down 3.8 pounds since the beginning of the month.

5.  The was Happy Dance done yesterday morning.  Of course at my dr I weight in at 238.  I guess I was wearing 3 pounds of clothes ;)

6.  Derby Lite started up again.  We have almost 30 women in the class!  It's amazing to see so many people skating together.

7. If you haven't already you should check out Derby Lite.  It's an exercise class based on Roller Derby, but without the hitting/knocking each other down.  It's a lot of fun and great exercise.  It was started in Chicago, but there are now classes coast to coast.

8.  I have a nasty headache today.  Last time I got a fill I had a nasty headache the next day as well.  So far this hasn't moved into migraine territory, and I'm hoping it doesn't.  I have liquid ibuprofin at home, may have to leave work early to take some.

9.  I'm thinking about becoming a distributor of Miche bags.  Has anyone heard of them? I love mine, and the start up isn't too much.  I just have to convince my husband it's a good idea.

10.  I've had 7 personal training sessions, only 3 more to go.  They have been awesome!  I wish I could continue, but we are trying to watch the budget, so no pt for a while.  My trainer has really kicked my butt and made me do things I never though I could.

Non Weigh In Wednesday

Since I've broken up with my scale I didn't weigh in today.  I was so tempted, but not going to do it.  I need to have some willpower.

Speaking of willpower, I had just about none yesterday. Well, that's not all true.  I was good all day.  Around 8 I was hungry, so do I go for some protein?  NOOOOO!  I go for the chocolate easter bunny I bought my husband (I had already eaten mine).  I figured by now he wasn't going to eat it, and I didn't want it to got to waste, I love that excuse don't you?

So any hoo...I chopped off it's ears and ate those first. Did that satisfy me, of course not, went back and ate the whole damn thing.

Not this normally wouldn't be soo terrible, not great, but not horrible. But this week is very bad exercise wise for me.  So here's my usual plan for exercise for the week, and what I'm actually going to do:


Monday:  Walk/Run with the dogs:  DONE
Tues:       Zumba                           Missed do to anniversary dinner
Wed:       Derby Lite Class              In between sessions so no class this week
Thurs:     Zumba or Aerobics          Will miss do to Fleetwood Mac concert
Fri:          Personal Training             Skipping since I won't get in until 1 or 2am from concert


I will take the dogs for a walk/run today, so that's something.  Busy week, so not too much exercise.  Will need to do better next week.

My Fitness Pal

I have been totally slacking on logging my food.  I started with MFP right after surgery and I did so well.  I stopped for awhile and realized I wasn't doing so well, so I went back.  Then I stopped again...guess what, not doing so well again withe my food choices and the reflects in the scale.  So I need help/accountability.

Anyone on MFP want to be my friend? My name there is colleenjoy1 if you want to add me as a friend.

Funny Friday

I saw this in Harli's blog and had to steal it for myself.  This is so me!!

Hope everyone has a great weekend.  It's supposed to be in the 60's and 70's here, so I will be out "running".

Weigh in Wednesday and a break-up

Today's weight...

238.8

Up 1.6 pounds from last week.  UGH.  So what did I do after that lovely number on the scale?  Got a nice piece of coffee cake for breakfast, full of apples and cinnamon yumminess.  And full of fat and calories too!!!!!!!  Might as well have it right, I already gained, why bother right?  

Have to stop that thinking.  That leads me to my break-up.  I've decided not to weigh in the rest of the month.  I let my emotions be dictated  by the numbers on the scale. I need to free myself from that.  Clothes are fitting better, I feel soo much better.  That should be so much more important than a number.  

 I've got an appointment at the end of the month, so that will be when I weigh in next.  I'll use this month to focus on my eating, fluid intake and exercise. 

New Pics and Major NSV!

Haven't taken official pics in a loooong time, way over due.  Here's the comparison from the day before surgery to yesterday. Hard to believe both of those are me. 



Pre Surgery

10.5 months post op



We had reservations to go out to a nice restaurant for Easter Dinner.  I realized saturday that I had nothing springy to wear.  So off the my favorite post surgery clohting store (Goodwill) to see what I could find.  Amazingly I found a dress from Taget, still with tags on (they had a whole buch, so must have been straight from target).  The most amazing supercalafrasticexpealidocious thing is that it's an XL, and it fit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


At first I wasn't even going to try it, but I figured for a couple of bucks even if it doesn't fit for a while it's worth it.  Didn't have time to try it on at the store, so tried it on at home.  Needed a little spanx help to smooth things out, but it fit great.  Of course I didn't get a picture of it. maybe I'll put it back on and snap a pic.



Weigh In Wednesday

I've been having a love/hate relationship with my scale.  I've noticed my clothes fitting looser, but the scale has been kind of stuck.  From my last post you know I haven't been working out in the last week, so I wasn't really expecting anything when I hopped on the scale this morning. To my surprise...

237.2

Happy Dance!!!

 Finally hit the 90 pounds lost.  Took awhile, but so glad to be here. These last 10 pounds have been a struggle, it's taken me 3 months to lose them.  Oh well, doesn't matter how long it takes, just matters that I'm moving downward.

Now onto the next 10 pounds.  My goal was to be at 100 pounds down by the anniversary of my surgery (5/21).  It seemed doable, but with how hard these last 10 were, not so sure.  That's OK,  i will make it there, just might take a little longer. 

Sidelined

After the last run I've had some pain in my right leg.  I tried to ignore it, but it was getting worse.  I talked to my trainer (after my workout, of course).  She said it sounds like shin splints.  I googled it and everything sounds like what I'm experiencing.  Trainer said to rest, and ice my leg.  So that's what I did all weekend long.  Skipped my runs/walks with the dogs and they are not happy. No Zumba either :( I did go shopping and walked around quite a bit, but nothing to strenuous.

So imagine my surprise when I tried on my size 16 (no W)  and they fit.  They are tight, but not obscene.  The only reason I tried them was that they were the only clean pants I had upstairs.  I am wearing a long top to cover the little muffin top I've got going on.

Did get a couple of good workouts sunday night and this morning shoveling snow... UGH!!!  I want it to be spring, unfortunately Mother Nature has other plans.  Was proactive last night and shoveled around 7:30 when we have 3-4 inched, then again and 9 when we had another 2-3.  This morning woke up to only another inch or two, but they had plowed the street, so had to shovel the heavy wet packed snow at the end of the driveway.  Hubby couldn't help as he was stranded in Baltimore.  He was supposed to fly back home yesterday, but got stuck at his layover.  I even shoveled out his car, what a good wife I am.

Leg is feeling better today, still have a little pain now and again.  I've signed up for a 5k this weekend.  Not sure if I'll do it, will wait and see as it gets closer.  Depends on the weather as well.  We didn't have this much snow when I did the 5ks in December!

Weigh in Wednesday

I did weigh in last week, just never got around to posting it last week.  Maybe because is was the same as the week before.

Last week's weight:

240.8

This week's weight:

239.4

So down a little, but still hanging out just below a 90 pounds loss.  As of today I'm at 89.6 pounds gone.  So close, but I've been here before.  Just want to get over that next milestone!

Had some great NSV this  weekend. I went "shopping".  Well actually I went looking because I knew I wasn't going to buy anything, just wanted to get a sense of what size I'm at now.  my size 20 pants are starting to fall off, 18's are loose, but ok.  I have a couple of 16's in my closet, but they are a little tight.

First I went to Coldwater Creek.  I like some of their stuff, but very expensive.  They carry up to a 22/24 I think, so it's a nice place to go now I'm in between plus and regular size.  Tried on a bunch of stuff in sizes 16-20.  Everything in 20 was too big!  Most tops I was fitting in best in an xl.  Just a regular old XL, not a 1X.  The best part was a dress in a size 16.  It fit beautiful!!!  I loved it, I tried to take a pic, but my camera wasn't working.  I may have to go back and try again I liked it so much.  It was $130, so no chance in hell I would by it, but it feels amazing to have it on.


Next I went to Old Navy, better price point, but still didn't get anything. Tried on some knit dressed, didn't really like them, but in most cases xl fit best.  I tried on one 16 dress that didn't fit.  It was fitted and had a zipper and couldn't get it closed.  It was close though. Tried a bunch of tops, xl was again the best size!  They didn't have the color I wanted in one top, but I may go to another store and get it since it was only $10.

Such a great feeling!!! and XL in "real" stores!!!!  Hallelujah!!! Still bummed I didn't hit 90 pounds, but I can see my body changing even without the weight moving.

Shamrock 4 mile run/walk

Saturday I did the Shamrock 4 mile run/walk and I actually survived!  Here's a pic of my lovely outfit.

I finished in 56 minutes 38 sec, for an average of 14:09 mile!  Huge improvement over the 15:22 mile at the 5K I did last year.

I probably "ran" a little more than half of it, so still lots of room for improvement.  Next race I think I'm going to do is a 5K Bunny Hop.  Have to start planning my ensemble.

Here's me after the race, red face in all it's glory!

Pics

                                         

                              

                              5 month post op                                                        10 month post op

                              

I haven't taken pics in so long.  I knew it had been awhile, but I didn't know it was 5 months.  Yesterday was my birthday and hubby took me out for nice dinner so I got dressed up.  Found this dress in my closet, size 18/20.  It was too big.  It's a wrap dress, so I moved the button and wrapped it as tight as it would go and I think it's still to big (happy dance was done)  i still wore it.  I think it looked better in person than in the pic/  it has red and black sparkley design at the bottom that  doesn't show up in the pic.

I can tell a difference in my face, but it's hard to see any other difference.  Will have to take a pic with same clothes again and see what that looks like.

Weighed in yesterday at...

240.8

 Bummed it was up, but taking it in stride.  Hopefully next week will be better.

Remember how I posted that I got a new car?  well, that lasted all of 2 days.  Took it to my mechanic and they said it needed about 500-600 worth of work.  So not going to pay to repair a "new to me" car so back it went.  On the hunt again.  Hopefully will find something soon.

Ten Things Thursday, on a Friday

1.  Had a killer migraine on Wednesday night.  We nauseous and started vomiting, couldn't keep my pill down.  Kept vomiting and ended up going to the ER to get some IV meds and hydration.  Good times!

2.  No problems with the band since then.  Had a fill on Tues, so was a little worried about the vomiting.  Hadn't started solids yet, still doing full liquids and mushies to make sure if there was any irritation it goes down before I do solids.

3.  Picked up  my "new" (to me) car on Tues night.  It's a Hyundai Elantra Trouring (4 door hatckback).  It's very cute, which is of course the most important feature in a car.

4. It's bright red, I'm not really a bright red kind of a girl.  All the rest of my cars have been blue or silver.

5.  If you are buying a used car and have a Carmax near you check them out.  They are awesome, no pressure, lots of cars to test.  I'm not affiliated with them in anyway, I just really like them.

6.  Husband has a stomach virus that's going on...why are men such babies?  I know I should be more sympathetic, but the moaning and groaning is just a bit much for me.

7. Has my first session with my personal trainer this morning.  She's going to kick my ass.  She pushed me beyond where I would push myself.

8.  Last week at Derby Lite we practiced 1 knee falls.  I was able to stand up using my non-dominant leg for the first time.  Wasn't pretty or graceful, but I did it.

9.  Missed Derby this week cause of the migraine, and next week we don't have class.  I think I'm going to go into withdrawal.  Might need to get to an open skate at a local rink.

10.  Hubby and I are helping with a dog rescue run tomorrow.  Picking up 2 hounds driving them for about an hour to help them get to there forever home.    

Weigh in Wednesday and a fill

Almost forgot to weigh in today.  Today's weight...

239.4

So close to the 90 pounds lost mark.  Hopefully by next week I will be there. I am very happy to see another nice loss this week.  

I can't remember if I've mentioned it here (I've been such a bad blogger, I think of lots of things to write about, but then almost never get here and actually write about it).  Anywhoo my new short term goal is to lose 100 pounds by my one year surgiversary.  That's on May 21st, so as of today I'm at 89.6 pounds, leaving 10.4 pounds to lose in just about 12 weeks.  Should be completely doable.

That being said I notice myself sabotaging myself more frequently.  Girl Scout cookies are the spawn of Satan!  I have noooo problem with them.  I tell myself it's ok if I have 1 or 2, and that turns into 5 or 6.  Each day!  UGH!!!!  I really need to learn self control.  When I was earlier in the process it was easier for me to stay away from "bad" foods.  Now I seem to gravitate to those.  Anyone have the same problem the farther out from surgery they are?

I had a very teeny tiny fill yesterday.  I don't think I blogged about me last fill/unfill in January. They put in .5cc and I seemed to do fine for a couple of weeks.  Then I started having some pain and heartburn during the night. Went in ASAP and had .25 taken out.  Had an upper GI the next week to make sure I didn't have any problems.  Everything was fine with the band, and the heartburn/pain went away immediately.

So that led up to yesterday when I went in to see the PA.  I've noticed that I'm getting hungry after about 3 hours.   Would like that to be longer, but conflicted as to if I should get a fill given that I had to have an unfill last month.  We decided on just a scootch of a fill, somewhere between .1 and .2cc.  Taking it easy with just full liquids yesterday and mushies today.  So far so good, but if I notice anything bad I'll go in ASAP and have some taken out.

  

I may be fat, but I'm fit too!

The gym we have at work is offering free fitness assessments.  Since it's free I figured what the heck, might as well see how bad I am.

Had the assessment and was pretty happy with everything I was able to do.  The assessment involves waking on the treadmill as the incline is increased, sit ups, push ups, body measurements, strength and flexibility.

Turns out I'm well above average, both in good and bad ways.  First the bad,  39.9% body fat.  OMG, have never even thought about % body fat.  So I fall into the well above average for my age.  If there was a category for supercalefragilistically above average, i'd be in that one.  Nothing too surprising, I am obese after all.

Now onto the great!  In both push ups and sit ups I am also in the well above average for my age.  Who?  Me?  wow!!!!

The trainer actually said to me "don't take this the wrong way, but a woman who weighs almost 250 usually can't do that many push ups/sit ups".  So just because I'm obese doesn't mean I don't have muscles under all that fat.

Strength, flexibility and treadmill test I was all about average.  I'll take that.  So much better than I thought I would do. So no more "I can't do that cuz I'm too fat".  I had a training session and said I didn't think I could do something and the trainer looks me in the eye and said  I saw you do 24 pushups, so don't tell me you can't do 10 now. If I was smart I would have held back a little in the assessment.

I have set a new goal for myself of losing 100 pounds by my one year surgiversary.  That gives me about 3 months to lose about 15 pounds.  I can do it, just need to set my mind to it.  To that end I'm signing up for personal training.  One 30 minute session a week with the trainer.  I could try and do the stregnth training she gave me one my own, but I know I will do so much better with someone yelling at  encouraging me.

I was going to start this week, but work schedule is crazy, so next week it is.

Weigh in Wednesday

245.0

REALLY?

I gained almost 4 pounds in a week.  Not physically possible.  I did not eat that many calories to result in 4 pound increase.  I'm calling this one BS, water weight is got to be what this is.  Not going to let it get me down.  Keep up with my plans and don't sweat the numbers.

NSV!!

I usually forget to post my NSV because I'm not near a computer, and then by the time am I I've forbotten (getting old sucks).  But I couldn't let these go without putting them down for posterity.

Last night I wore a size 16w jeans, and they were a little loose.  Yes, still has that pesky w, but still 16!!! 

We went to a comedy club last night.  Lot's of fun.  came out to find some ass with a big old pickem up truck parked literally an inche from our car, driver side of course.  I really wanted to key the truck, but my husband talked me down.   Anywhoo, onto the NSV... I had to get in the passenger side, and climb over into the drivers side.  I did it, without any trouble.  Was doing a major happy dance.

This morning I took the dogs out for their walk.  I'm on W5 of Ease into 5k.  Today had a 9 minute run.  Did 6 minutes ok, but NINE?????  What the hell, I'll give it a try... I did it, all 9 minutes, withough too much hudding and puffing.  Total of 16 minutes of wogging out of 29 minutes.  More walking than not!!! 


So new motto alert:

Just because you've never done something before, doesn't mean you can't do it now. 

Weigh in Wednesday

Slowly working my way out of my funk.  I am realizing now that my vitamin deficiencies may have played into my funkiness.  My 6 month labs showed I was anemic, and had low D and B.  It took me a while to get my vitamins and then to actually start taking them.  I've been consistent with them for about 3-4 weeks now. I think they're helping.


Today's weight:

241.6

Yippee!!!!!

2.4 pounds down from last week.  That definitely helps me mood.  I'm still learning that I can't let the scale make or break my mood.   Some weeks I will lose, some I won't.  I just have to keep up eating right and exercising and the weight will come off.

Weigh in Wednesday

Today's weight:

244

So only .2 pounds down for the week. Feeling stuck, no not that kind of stuck, just stuck weight wise.  I know rationally I'm doing the right things and the weight will come off,  just wish my work showed on the scale.

Here's what I'm doing:

Mon:     Ease into 5k

Tues:    Zumba, walk the dogs

Wed:    Derby Lite

Thurs:  Aerobics

Fri:      Strength training, walk the dogs

Sat:      Ease into 5K

Sun:     Walk the dogs

Food has been fine.  I admit to the occasional cookie or candy, but not an everyday thing.  Getting in my protein and fluids.  Just feel like i'm not seeing the results I expect.

Just been feeling king of...

I have lost 85 pounds, and I just feel kind of...eh, should be more.  I think because the first 50-60 were so easy to lose, it seems like now I'm fighting for every pound.

oh, poor me, only lost 85 pounds.  let's start the pity party now.  I am thrilled with how far I've come. I've had so many NSV even in the last couple of months so I should focus on those, and not the scale.

Sorry for the whine fest.  Need to snap out of this funk and get into this funk...

WTF Wednesday Weigh In

246.0

Same as freakin last week!!  With all the exercise I did in the last week I was expecting a nice drop.  Unfortunately this is what I got today.  

Rationally I know that weights will fluctuate, but come on.  Can't I get a break?

Just need to keep up what I'm doing and it will go down.  Just got to remember that. 

Excellent Exercise

Can I just say what an awesome week I've had with exercise? Not sure if I can keep it up but this is what I accomplished this week

Mon: 30min walk with the dogs
Tues: 1hr Zumba class + 20 min walk with the dogs
Wed: 1 1/2 hr Derby Lite Class
Thur: 1 hr low impact aerobics class
Fri:  1 hr Ball Blast class + 30 minutes W4D1 C25K


and how do I feel?  Well besides sore in places I don't think I've ever been sore before, I feel AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The new gym at work was having all the classes for free this week, so I thought I'd give it a try.  I've always wanted to try Zumba but was worried/afraid of going somewhere.  I had so much fun!  I couldn't do halfe the moves the instructor did, but that doesn't matter.  I was moving and having a blast.  I'm going to make this a weekly thing. Already put it on my calendar.

The Ball Blast class was another new one at the work gym.  It's a strength class using medicine balls, stability balls, kettle bell and bosu balls.  I need to add some strength training, so I figured I give it a try, it's free.  Kind of intimidating that everyone else in the class (all 4 of them) were younger and MUCH fitter than I, but I stuck with it and had a blast.  Tough class, couldn't do some of the things, but was able to modify.  I was so happy that I made it to then end without having to stop.

Worst part of the class is the fact it's at 6am.  Yup, 6am...I usually don't even get out of bed until after 7, so that was hard for me. 

Then when I got home from work I took the dogs our for a walk and decided to restart C25K.  Before holidays I finished W3.  Figured what the heck, I'll try W4.  I was able to do all the running parts (albeit at more of a wog than a run).  Even the 6 minute one, and I wasn't dying at the end.


OMG, I think I'm turning into an exercise nut...and I think I like it.

Not sure I will do all of that every week, but it's nice to know I have lots of options of things I like.  Completely sore from head to toe.

Oh, and some not so great developement this week.  For some reason my heartburn is acting up big time.  I can eat and drink fine, but wondering if I might be a scootch to tight so going in monday for a teeney tiney unfil.

Goals for 2013

Weight:
For my 1st bandiversay (May 21st) I would like to be 100 pounds down.  That's less than 20 pounds in about 4 months.

Don't have a goal for the rest of the year.  My original goal was 120 pounds lost.  That only got me to 200 pounds, and I wasn't even sure that was achievable. I don't even remember if my surgeon gave me a goal weight or not.  Once I get to 200 I'll re-evaluate where I want to go from there.


Exercise:
Continue with Derby Lite and aerobics classes (each one a week)

Add another class once a week.  Possibly Zumba, going to try a class tomorrow.

Finish my ease into 5K program.  I was going to start Week 4 before the holidays.  I haven't restarted since.  It's too icy outside to try and for some reason I'm scared to try running/wogging on my treadmill.  Will have to get over that quickly.

Continue to walk the dogs atleast 5 days of the week.

Races:
Complete at least five races, of at least 5K, if not longer.  There's an 8k in April that I'm looking at, but not sure if I'll be ready for that.

To actually "run" an entire 5K by the end of 2013.

Overall:
To continue to push myself out of my comfort zone.  To try things I never thought I could do, even if it makes me uncomfortable.

To learn to use my band to it's fullest capabilities, and to learn it's limitations.




I still need to do a wrap up for last year, but wanted to get my 2013 goals down on "paper" to make them real.

Wednesday Weigh in

Wasn't sure what the scale was going to say when I got on this morning.  I was ok over the holidays, but not great.  Too much traveling and eating out. Too many of my mom's cookies as well.  She is an amazing baker, and made 7-8 different types of cookies this year, down from previous years 12 different types.  YUMMY!!

So without further ado...

247.8

So down 1.8 pounds from pre-holiday weigh-in.  A loss is a HUGE deal, wasn't expecting much, so I'll take anything I can get.   I have officially passed the 80 pound loss mark!!! YIPPEE!!

Trip was good.  I could use a vacation from my vacation.  Got home NYE to a driveway full of snow to shovel before we could get in the house.  Next year I'm going to pay someone to shovel before we get home.

Got a FitBit for christmas, so need to get back on track with number of steps and logging food on MFP.